Character

Make Sure People “Show Up” For You

June 27, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear girls,

One day, I was scheduled to catch an Amtrak train from one state to another. However, a derailment of another train prevented my train from taking me to my final destination. Instead, I had to get off the train in a city that was two hours from my final destination.

When I made my husband (your uncle) aware that he would have to drive a few hours to pick me up, he said three words (“I’ll be there”) followed by three more words (“I love you”).

Please make sure that people in your lives “show up” for you. That means – when you need them, they need to be there.

I love you.

Auntie

Be Sure Your Significant Other Values You

April 18, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear girls,

When you become an adult, I hope you find a partner who will love you unconditionally.

Your uncle and I had to attend an event. Because I had to arrive early, we drove to the event separately. The event was awesome, and your uncle and I left together. As your uncle and I were driving home – in separate vehicles – I realized that I needed some gas. I pulled into a gas station – without telling your uncle. What did he do? He pulled into the gas station behind me, got out of his vehicle and pumped my gas.

Real men take care of their women – without having to be asked. Never forget this…

I love you for life.

Your Auntie

Advocate for Others

February 29, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear girls,

Please advocate for other oppressed people.

For example, when other people of color, disabled people and Muslims are mistreated, please speak up. Why? The next person who is mistreated could be you, and you would want someone to stand up for you.

I love you for life.

Auntie

Never Judge People Based on Material Things

January 5, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear girls,

Please never judge someone based on material things.

There are crappy people who are rich and educated. There are wonderful people who are not rich and not educated.

For example, I have a Ph.D. and am a college vice president. My husband – your uncle – has a high school diploma and manages a warehouse. Throughout our marriage, there have been times he has earned more money than me. Other times, I have earned more money than him. What is most important, however, is that he loves me unconditionally and treats me like a queen.

When you become an adult, please find someone who loves you for you and will work hard to provide a good life for you. The person does not have to be rich, famous or educated. They do, however, need to be ethical, kind, loyal, hardworking and supportive.

I want the best for you. I always have, and I always will.

I love you for life.

Auntie

You have the Power

September 8, 2019 Leave a Comment

Hi, girls.

I have been reflecting on the state of our nation and world, and I keep coming back to one word – women. Some of the most hateful words and deeds come from men – men with wives, daughters and granddaughters.

What does it say about women who have influence over men but do not use it? What does it say about women who listen to the men in their life bash other women, people of color, Muslins and gay people, and they remain silent? What does it say about women who watch their men vote against women’s reproductive rights, and they remain silent?

I am the most influential person in my husband’s life. I am one of the most influential people in my daddy’s life. There is no way that I could or would remain silent if my husband or daddy spewed the kind of hatred that some men spew. There is absolutely no way.

Women who are not using their power, influence and privilege to influence their men to be good and decent are part of the problem. It’s great to march, protest and speak out. However, their advocacy should start at home with their own families – especially the men in their lives.

This message is something White women should definitely reflect on – a lot.

I love you.

#TheTruthIsTheLight

Dealing with Weak and Insecure People

August 5, 2019 Leave a Comment

Dear sweet girls,

I must admit that I struggle with weak and insecure people, especially women. I don’t care for them, and I feed them with a long-handled spoon.

I struggle with people with low self-esteem, because they are very dangerous.

I struggle with people who like to be liked, because they are willing to do anything to be liked.

I struggle with people who are easily persuaded to do wrong, because they are not loyal to anyone.

I struggle with jealous people, because they will do anything – no matter how immoral – to have what you have.

When we meet dysfunctional and mean-spirited girls, nine times out of 10, they learned that behavior from their dysfunctional and mean-spirited mothers.

Do not be friends with these types of people. Do not become these types of people. When you know better, you do better. My loves, you indeed know better.