Archives for May 2020

Making Your Own Decisions

May 30, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear nieces,

When I was 18, I told my mama (your grandma) that I did not want to get married or have children. She simply answered, “Then don’t.” I changed my mind about the marriage thing, met the man of my dreams and have been happily married for almost 24 years. Also, I am happily CBC (childless by choice). I love children and am good with them, but I just did not want them. I have never regretted my decision.

Your uncle and I can come and go as we please, and we get to do things for our nieces (including you), nephews and godchildren that we could not do if we had children. Also, my decision did not deprive your uncle, because he had children before we married. When we first started dating, I told him I did not want children and that if he wanted more, then I was not the woman for him.

I pray you make your own decisions – based on your dreams and goals and not what others expect of you.

Love,

Your Auntie

Having White Friends as Allies

May 23, 2020 Leave a Comment

To my darling girls,

Some of my White Facebook friends ask what they can do to assist in the struggle for racial equality and justice.

This is what I tell them:

Call out your racist family members and friends when they spew their hatred
Expose your racist social media friends and use screen shots to make their racist posts go viral
Make your friends of color aware of the racists in their circle (many racists find it easy to “skin and grin” with people of color; let us know who they are)
Advocate for people of color at work

If your White friends are not willing to advocate for you and other people of color, you have no business being friends with them. What would be the point?

Much love to you,

Auntie

Ignorance is Real

May 17, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear sweet nieces,

Some of the most ignorant and incompetent people I know are highly educated.

You will meet some of them at some point in your life.

I love you.

Your Auntie

Our Reality as Black People

May 9, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear girls,

Our reality as Black people is that we must constantly remember what to do if we are ever pulled over by the police.

I repeat the reminders over and over again to your uncle and will do so daily for the rest of my life if I have to.

Typically, I am fearless. However, the thought of someone hunting, hurting and/or killing my loved ones and friends brings me to my knees. The anger, sorrow and pain that I feel are indescribable.

I am sharing this information with you to educate you – not to scare you. It makes me sad that Black people need to have these conversations with their loved ones. White people do not have to engage in these types of discussions with their White loved ones.

I love you for life.

Your Auntie

My Top 10 Blessings In My Life

May 2, 2020 Leave a Comment

Dear girls,

No one achieves anything alone, so I want to briefly tell you about the top 10 blessings in my life:

#1 is God, who loves and forgives me despite my sins. He has blessed me with a life better than anything I could have ever imagined.
#2 is my husband (your uncle), who greets me every morning with “Hello, beautiful.” He loves me unconditionally and is not threatened or intimidated by me or my successes.
#3 is my mama (your grandma). She used her life savings to pay for my first degree and set me up for success to earn two more degrees.
#4 is my daddy. He always encourages me to “get it while you are young.”
#5 is my baby sister (your mom), who is often the voice of reason for her big sister.
#6 are my nieces (including you), who inspire me to lead by example. They watch everything that I do, and I try to do better each day because of them.
#7 are my boss and his husband, who are dear to me. When I need them, day or night, they are there. Their support of me has no limits.
#8 are my close friends, who could care less about my credentials and accomplishments. They keep it real, and they keep me grounded.
#9 is the village of women who helped to raise me: my grandmothers, my childhood babysitter (who was my second mother) and the first lady of my church (who helped to mold me from the day I was born until the day she passed away).
Finally, #10 are my enemies. Yes, my enemies. As the young folks would say, “The haters are my motivators.” There are a lot of jealous people in the world, but they don’t stop me. I simply pray for them and keep it moving.

Who are your blessings? Count them and thank God for them.

I love you.

Your Auntie